do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Randomize
