OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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