he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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