i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
