The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
