Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
