It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
