where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
