We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I cockslap morals
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
