I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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