my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got inside last night via doggy door
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
