just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
