pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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