The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
third nipple confirmed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
