so that wasnt chicken after all
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
