dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize