Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
