so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
