I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
