so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
