I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize