dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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