would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
