you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
