Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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