her vagine was all disorganized.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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