that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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