just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
