my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
