Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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