he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize