they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
