he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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