I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
