What tipped you off? The sombrero?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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