I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
