I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
