Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize