My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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