i just had sex bonerless
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dicks are not precious.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
