I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
