dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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