dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
