hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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