Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
