16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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