Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
