You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
