Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize