we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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