So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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