I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
