We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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